Inlägg publicerade under kategorin Utmattning

Av Kasia - 16 mars 2014 17:46

How often do you keep yourself busy with fb, blogs(!), etc during your private moments in the toilette. 


How would such a question pop up in anyones head?

This is how:

Detox involves a lot of drinking: fresh juices, herbal teas and above all enormous amounts of water (preferably slightly warm and with a splash of lemon juice!)

That makes one visit the loo like.... every hour!!!

So there I am, at least ten times a day, and what do I notice?

There are nine picture frames, right in front of the visitor's nose, hanging on the wall in our guest toilette.

I know there are nine of them. I made them myself and I hanged them there. But what is the first think I do when I "take a seat"???
I simultaneously roll out the toilette paper   
 even though I haven’t yet get to the business and... I COUNT the frames, from left to right!    Each time! (Nowadays I am able to stop myself before I even come to… number two!

And I do not suffer from the Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

So why do I do that?

*

*

*

TO KEEP MY MIND BUSY.

Sadly, there were times when I was afraid of what I would have to deal with if my thoughts suddenly went quiet.

Today I train myself to both find AND create more and more of empty space, a resting place within myself.

I hope that this slightly intimate parallel maybe will encourage you to search for your own moments of mental silence. And there are so many simple, repetitive tasks – daily - which we can turn into meditation.

Av Kasia - 16 mars 2014 17:46

How often do you keep yourself busy with fb, blogs(!), etc during your private moments in the toilette. 


How would such a question pop up in anyones head?

This is how:

Detox involves a lot of drinking: fresh juices, herbal teas and above all enormous amounts of water (preferably slightly warm and with a splash of lemon juice!)

That makes one visit the loo like.... every hour!!!

So there I am, at least ten times a day, and what do I notice?

There are nine picture frames, right in front of the visitor's nose, hanging on the wall in our guest toilette.

I know there are nine of them. I made them myself and I hanged them there. But what is the first think I do when I "take a seat"???
I simultaneously roll out the toilette paper   
 even though I haven’t yet get to the business and... I COUNT the frames, from left to right!    Each time! (Nowadays I am able to stop myself before I even come to… number two!

And I do not suffer from the Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

So why do I do that?

*

*

*

TO KEEP MY MIND BUSY.

Sadly, there were times when I was afraid of what I would have to deal with if my thoughts suddenly went quiet.

Today I train myself to both find AND create more and more of empty space, a resting place within myself.

I hope that this slightly intimate parallel maybe will encourage you to search for your own moments of mental silence. And there are so many simple, repetitive tasks – daily - which we can turn into meditation.

Av Kasia - 15 mars 2014 00:00

I have tried this once already, the blogging. Not a single person had seen it before. I decided I will let it stay here (even though it is in Swedish), because this is how life was, and still is at times for me.


     

I have just started a 21 day long detox.*

I thought I would share some of the insights of it for those who might need one too. And mostly because I think it's a lot of fun!

...And also because a strong urge to speak up was burning my guts for quite a while now.


For several years I was navigating my boat right into this rocky mountain and feeling deep inside that I might be on a wrong course. That some kind of change or maybe a shift of direction if you will, should occur soon if I'm going to survive. Or at least find a way around that mountain.

I didn't.

In October 2012, 18 months ago I hit it with a tremendous speed. I collapsed on an ordinary Sunday morning and found myself in a deep shit of a stress break down. A burn out as the doctor stated few days later.


I was in need for a deep restoration and I had no idea how to proceed.

That time was like driving on a bumpy road, on flat tires, with a broken gps, basically. Back and forth to the same old holes. It still is so. Though new paths have been found since then. They work, sometimes.

...Long story.


Anyhow. I felt the time have come for me to start cleaning up this mess. Even strictly physiologically. This is how I came across Clean program.


I am reading, learning, I let myself be guided, and I am finding out more and more about myself.

It is exciting.

Like a handcraft that you try to master, like sculpting in wood maybe. First you can only see wood chips all over the place and all you feel is pain in your muscles... it is exhausting and you want to give up every now and then, but one day a human silhouette starts showing itself.

Maybe even a work of art...




*The detox is based on a Clean program by Alejandro Junger, M.D., I am not letting myself out there on my own. I know too little about this stuff, a healthy, well functioning human body.

Av Kasia - 4 juni 2013 14:28

Varför inte ta in lite symbolik.

Någon enkel sak, ett mönster, ...ett djur? som hjälper att behålla fokus på det väsentliga.


ZEBRA - min mentala väckarklocka i vardagen.

Det finns knappt vackrare djur, till att börja med. Men inte bara det.

Zebror har även nämnts i stressamanhang för flera år sedan av någon skojig forskare i USA.

För zebror lever bland lejon och upplever en jäkla massa stress när de springer för livet, för att slippa bli någons frukost. Men ändå så får de inte magsår, eller andra stressrelaterade sjukdomar.

För mellanåt betar de gräs som de sedan tuggar jäääätelångsamt , ligger i solen, kanske gnuggar ryggen mot en gammal baobab och ÅTERHÄMTAR SIG!!!!


Det har inte jag själv tagit in i beräkningen när jag kört på i full fart så länge jag kan minnas...


Så nu gäller det att bryta gamla vanor, ändra tankemönster. Och visst sägs det att ränderna går aldrig ur...

Vi ska väl få se!

Allt är ju inte... svart-vit ;)

Av Kasia - 4 juni 2013 10:46

Det finns inte tid att slösa!

Effektivisera! Optimera! Snabba på!


För er som kan göra en sak i taget... GRATTIS!

För det har aldrig varit min grej. Och jag hamnade på stressrehaben till sist.


Nu lär jag mig på nytt.

Att borsta tänderna när jag borstar tänderna. Förr sprang jag i 20 minuter med tandborste i munnen och gjorde andra saker samtidigt. (Tandkrämsdreggel kommer sällan bort från svarta kläder kan jag tipsa!)


Att andas. Riktiga, livskraftiga andetag, långt ner i magen. En i taget. Tusen gånger om dagen.


Att känna smaken av den mat som jag omsorgsfullt lagat.


Att tämja hjärnan en aning. Den spolar igenom 80.000 tankar om dagen sägs det. Låt oss ta en tanke i taget.


Av Kasia - 4 juni 2013 10:08

I dagsljus syns det att jag inte är 20 längre, men inte heller 45 riktigt. Men på god väg...

Jag har nyligen blivit 34.

I höstas dundrade jag in i en jättetjock betongvägg. Med högfart. Hade jag en förmåga att lyfta blicken lite så skulle jag sett tecken. Stora, blaffiga, blinkande skyltar som skrek: UTMATTNING.

Men så blev det inte. Och det var det bästa som kunde hänt mig tycker jag idag.


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